Monday, June 20, 2011


My Dad says "In the library,
I had a moment, when
it seemed that I was not there.
But I could see it all.
It was very quiet."
"You're slipping away" I think
but ask "Does it happen often?"
"No" he says "I wonder if I'm slipping
out of life, slowly"
How did he know what I thought?
So I say "It's the heat, or
what you're eating."
He knows I'm covering up,
an eyebrow is raised and he looks
sideways at me and says
"Yeah, it's nothing to worry about."
Which is how it is.
I am still not allowed to worry about him
it is all the other way.
Though I want to help,
he still sees it and me
as slightly ridiculous.
He is still my parent
and I'm his child.
There are some shared laughs
but his age group do not open up.
So this moment has left a mark on him
if he even mentions it to me.
He is half amused  and
thinks about what it means.
So I look at him and say
"You're worried by it?"
"No, it's nothing much. But
I'd rather not just slide away."


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Very touching, Mr. Mack.

My dad is having problems (heart, cancer), too. I guess he's not slipping so much as everything is just breaking down.

broken biro said...

I work in a library - this happens all the time!

But seriously, a thoughtful, caring poem. The tables do start turning, don't they? You find yourself nagging them to eat more veg, worrying if they're late home, driving them to their classes...

Hamish Mack said...

Thanks broken biro. I was thinking about role reversal and how it affects people.

Jennifer said...

Losing the fathers we've known, and losing them slowly. I hate it.

merc said...

I came back to this one, there's more there than last time.

vacuumslayer said...

*sniffle* I feel like this too. I'm not losing him because of any health reasons...just because he's getting older and forgetting more and he's just not the same vivacious man he used to be. And there's so much more. I just can't say it here.

Hamish Mack said...

I found it was difficult VS but also proof of life. That we all have history and it affects us all. I like the way my childhood family has changed as we've got older. But you never stop being a child or a parent.
Hug to you

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